things you need to know
This site is for information only
and is divided into the following headings;
1. Why Use Donor Sperm?
2. The Five Main Donor/Recipient Methods used for Insemination
3. The Law and Regulations
4. Memorandum of Understanding
5. The Statements and Vows
6. Law terms
7. Is the Recipient’s Orgasm Important in the process?
8. Handy Free Donor Sites...
9. Other tip and donor contact
Use Donor Sperm?
(extracts in this section taken from Wikipedia)
Sperm donation is the provision (or ‘donation’) by a man (known as a sperm donor) of his sperm (known as donor sperm) for the purpose of inseminating or impregnating a woman who is not necessarily his sexual partner. The woman may be inseminated by either natural or artificial insemination methods. Sperm may be donated privately and directly to the intended recipient, or through a sperm bank or fertility clinic. The primary recipients of donor sperm are heterosexual couples suffering from male infertility, lesbian couples and single women.
When going through a sperm bank, the recipient may select donor sperm on the basis of the donor's looks, personality, academic ability, race, and many other factors. Sperm banks or clinics are subject to varying state regulations, including restrictions on donor anonymity and number of offspring, and there may be other legal protections of the rights and responsibilities of both recipient and donor. Some sperm banks, either by choice or regulation, limit the amount of information available to potential recipients; a desire to obtain more information on donors is one reason why recipients may choose to use a known donor and/or private donation.
While a sperm donor is regarded as the natural or biological father of every child produced as a result of his donation, he is generally not intended to be the legal or de jure father. Depending on the jurisdiction and its laws, he may or may not later be eligible to seek parental rights or be held responsible for parental obligations.
The general process of sperm donation is described as third party reproduction.
Donor insemination is a means of attaining pregnancy for a couple having trouble getting pregnant, and who can benefit from the exact timing and placement of the sperm. It can overcome instances where a woman's immune system can reject her partner's sperm as invading molecules. In the case of an impotent male, donor sperm may be used. It is also a means for a woman to conceive when two women wish to parent a child, or a single woman does not have a male partner, when she does not want a male partner, or when a male partner's physical limitation impedes his ability to impregnate her by sexual intercourse.
Women who have issues with the cervix such as cervical scarring, cervical blockage from endometriosis, or thick cervical mucus may also benefit from artificial insemination since the sperm must pass through the cervix to result in fertilization. This method is often used for same-sex couples who wish to have a biological child. Lesbian(females) couples have a sperm donor.
Sperm is usually obtained through masturbation (also called milking) or the use of an electrical stimulator, although a special condom, known as a collection condom, may be used to collect the semen during intercourse.
Sperm provided by a sperm bank will always be produced by a donor attending
at the sperm bank's premises in order to ascertain the donor's identity on
The donor masturbates/milks to provide an ejaculate in a small container. The contents of the container are usually extended with chemicals in order to provide a number of vials for insemination. The sperm is frozen and quarantined for a period of usually six months and the donor re-tested prior to the sperm being used for artificial insemination.
A sperm donor is usually advised not to ejaculate for two to three days before providing the sample, to increase the sperm count.
A woman's menstrual cycle is closely observed, by tracking basal body temperature and changes in vaginal mucus, or using ovulation kits, ultrasounds or blood tests.
When using intrauterine insemination (IUI), the sperm must have been “washed” in a laboratory and concentrated in Hams F10 media without L-glutamine, warmed to 37C. The process of “washing” the sperm increases the chances of fertilization and removes any mucus and non-motile sperm in the semen. Pre and post concentration of motile sperm is counted.
Sperm from a sperm bank will be frozen and quarantined for a particular period and the donor will be tested before and after production of the sample to ensure that he does not carry a transmissible disease. Sperm samples donated in this way are commonly produced through masturbation / milking the donor by the sperm donor at the sperm bank. A chemical known as a cryoprotectant is added to the sperm to aid the freezing and thawing process. Further chemicals may be added which separate the most active sperm in the sample as well as extending or diluting the sample so that vials for a number of inseminations are produced. For fresh shipping, a semen extender is used.
If sperm is provided by a private donor, either directly or through a sperm agency, it is usually supplied fresh, not frozen, and it will not be quarantined. Donor sperm provided in this way may be given directly to the recipient woman or her partner.
Pregnancies are usually achieved using donor sperm by assisted reproductive technology (ART). Techniques include artificial insemination (either by intracervical insemination (ISI) or intrauterine insemination (IUI) in a clinic, or intravaginal insemination at home) and less commonly in vitro fertilization (IVF). Insemination may also be achieved by a donor having sexual intercourse with a woman for the sole purpose of initiating conception. This method is known as natural insemination. Other methods include, AI (Artificial Insemination), PI (Partial Intercourse), and the lesser known, SAI (Semi Artificial Insemination).
2. The Five Main Donor/Recipient Methods used for Insemination;
AI: Artificial Insemination. The donor deposits his sperm into a suitable container. Either the donor or the recipient then transfers the donation to the vagina, normally using a syringe. The donor holds the syringe in place until the recipient nears climax before squeezing the syringe so that the uterus can ‘upslurp’ the sperm for maximum results. AI does have the drawback that the quantity of sperm released through masturbation is less than via NI or SAI.
NI: Natural Insemination. The donor and recipient have sexual intercourse, thus depositing sperm directly into the recipient’s vagina. This is usually in the so-called ‘Missionary Position’ or ventro-ventral (front-to-front) reproductive activity and can only be recommended if both donor and recipient are able to achieve a good understanding of the agreement of their task together. If one is concerned about any future emotional issues, then this position is not recommended.
SAI: Semi Artificial
Insemination. The recipient treats the male as a donor using a ‘natural syringe’
whereby the donor’s penis is interpreted to be little more than a biological
syringe. To avoid personal interpretations of intent that may arise from
standard NI, the donor positions himself on his side behind the recipient who
is also on her side or partially on her side. This way no face to face contact
is made as in the ventro-ventral (front-to-front) reproductive
activity and the process is therefore far less personal. This method is
becoming increasingly popular due to the more natural means to stimulate
ejaculation from the donor without having the possible emotional issues that
may arise from ventro-ventral (front-to-front) activity. Research has found
that vaginal stimulation of the penis ensures a greater sperm release than via
masturbation and this method facilitates the semen to be deposited deeper into
the vagina increasing the success rate. Because of these factors, SAI is
becoming the preferred method for some.
PI: Partial Intercourse. The donor stimulates himself close to the point of ejaculation and then inserts the penis into the recipient’s vagina. This method is most likely the most difficult to use due to the reliance upon ‘timing’ and unwanted spillage and some refer to PI being unworkable and clumsy. It is the least recommended.
In each of the above methods the woman is generally advised to lie still for a half hour or so after the insemination to prevent seepage and to allow fertilization to take place.
SMI: Sheet Method Insemination. This is the very least known method and is used by lesbian couples who have not been able to become pregnant after many attempts at AI. Usually lesbian couples do not feel good about having NI with the donor as they see this as an intrussion. Because many believe NI offers the best chances of pregnancy, SMI has been developed to allow the recipient to be inseminated with the donor having minimum physical contact, whilst the partner of the recipient stimulates her to orgasm. The method requires all three to be on their sides with the couple facing each other and the donor having placed himself behind the recipient but being separated from her with a bedsheet, hence the name of this method. The partner is then 'percieved' as giving her recipient lover the donated seed and in so dong, she makes her lover pregnant, not the male whose only function is to deliver the seed. This way, both women can feel that they are the active couple in 'making the baby'. The donor then slips out of the room once the delivery of sperm has been made and the couple continue their company together. This method is very rare yet has been reported as giving good results. Couples need to be very confident that the donor fully understands the intentions and is fully in agreement with the couples plans.
3. The Law and Regulations.
One of the most best known Free Sperm Donors sites asks the following;
“In reality how could you regulate it
- other than (as is happening) determine legally that a man who donates through
AI - where there is a contract outlining their pre-conception agreement-
that this man is not obliged to make payments. ...” The site adds that it would like to see things
to be, “... more transparent, and allow
greater sharing of information ...”, so that it is not only a case of
protecting the donor from care costs but also to safeguard the recipient from
the donor so that, “ - he cannot later ...
gain custody and as the dad... sue for shared custody...”
To avoid this the couple can sometimes at best have nothing more than an
oral agreement as any agreement on paper is a can be used as a legal document.
Avoiding ‘the paper trail’ is often the best protection.
The site states, “It is up to both parties to go into it with their eyes open- and ultimately the child should have the benefit of parents financially and emotionally able to support them as well as access to their bio father.”
“The main point is that both parties have chosen each other before conception, and are going to this with eyes wide open. Options that allow people to choose their own 'match' based not on statistics from a catalogue and honour the man as the bio father and not a 'sperm donor' - therefore allowing the child to know of him and be able to make their own decisions BEFORE the age of 18. We can then have much more open support groups for these alternative families to reduce associated risks- e.g. crossing boundaries. (Which we have with all families).”
In life all law and all social contact, and even commercial activity, is based on TRUST and intent. Without trust, society will come to a grinding halt. For instance, you trust the money in your wallet is worth something and so does the one who takes it from you in exchange for goods and services, indeed, the ‘stuff’ from your credit card is called Credit, which is French for, ‘Belief’, i.e., you believe therefore you trust.
Therefore any woman and any man entering into any form of Donor/Recipient arrangement cannot have any more or less legal protection than someone buying a house or a car or entering into marriage or a business venture as all such activities, all social activities are based on trust. The bottom line is this, if you as donor do not trust the recipient, don’t enter into an activity with her...and likewise, if you want be the recipient but you do not trust the donor, do not enter into an activity with him.
Prayer and Common Sense are you best protections and in the end, if you want to detach realities from the activities you enter into, then it is best not to enter into such things.
There are some very basic things for you to check on; as recipient you need to know the health and lifestyle of the donor, and as recipient, you need to demonstrate the same to the donor. Mutual respect for each other is key; you are both human beings with lives of you own, and sets of loved ones belonging to each party.
If you cannot respect the humanity of the donor, then stay away from him, and likewise this applies the other way round.
To help foster this mutual respect, we recommend that both parties get to learn as much as they can from each other before hand and have professional health checks made and proof thereof exchanged. If this proves satisfactory to both parties, then you can agree on which method and once that is done, make a verbal commitment of intent to each other.
4. Memorandum of Understanding;
Laws are being drawn and modified to deal with changing trends in society. To do this, law makers need to know of ‘Intent’ behind changing trends.
Traditionally planned children were born within a marital state, but as society has moved away from the sureties of the traditional family into new types of relationships, such as single mums and same sex (lesbian) couples, new and often untested legalities arise.
The best way to deal with all legal issues has always been to establish ‘Intent’, what was traditionally called the ‘Spirit of the Law’.
With AI the intent seems clear, the female or recipient takes sperm to gain a baby with no intent of having the male or donor being part of the child’s upbringing or the male being part her husband or partner. The intent being that the child is deemed as ‘her’ child or the child of herself and of whomever she is partnered with (that partner not being the donor and a party unable to get her pregnant).
It is for this reason, some advocates of donor babies, try and make a distinction between NI and IA as having different intents. Some argue that NI is sexual intercourse and therefore more subjects to proof of a committed loving relationship between the male and female involved. However such an argument is easily shown to be baseless if likened to the intercourse that takes place since the dawn of sexual activity in the case of sex-workers.
In the case of both donors and sex-workers, a service is provide whereby human sexual conduct takes place, but the intent has no links whatsoever with human bonding emotions surrounding the intent of partnership, de facto relationships of marriages.
NI and AI therefore serve the same purpose and is a matter for the individuals to deal with and cannot be legislated without interfering in basic acts of sexual and social behaviour, something no one has ever been able to legislate.
Some law makers are seeking to make a distinction, but will find this hard to make a fixed ruling on.
Sex workers for instance have no intentions of having a relationship with their clients other than offering a service. To make the issue even more entwined, many sex-workers are in a marital relationship and yet they have more sexual intercourse with clients than with their partners, yet there is no law that says they are therefore wed to their clients, the issue is clearly one of ‘intent’.
What if a sex-worker inadvertently becomes pregnant, and this is not improbable and has happened many times? Laws have never been made to make the male customer responsible for the child, it’s about ‘intent’.
What then of actors? On the screen we seen men and women having wedding ceremonies and exchange wedding vows, and never has an actor sued the other one for not living up to the wedding vows, as the issue is ‘intent’, and the intent at the time was that they were acting.
It is all about intent. At least in the case of a donor/recipient birth, the baby is wanted and loved at the point of conception, even before conception as the recipient has planned the whole ‘thing’ from the outset. Nowhere is there intent to be husband and wife or de facto.
If that intent is not clear to either party, then we recommend they make the following statements and vows to each other so that both understand, ‘Intent’.
5. The Statements and Vows;
Donor, is the intent to help the recipient in
facilitating her desire to have a child for herself without you being in a
partnership, or de facto, or wedded state with her? Yes or no
Donor, is there any intent to have a partnership or de facto or marital relationship with the recipient? Yes or no.
Recipient, is the intent to have the donor enter into a partnership or de facto relationship or marital relationship with the recipient? Yes or no.
Donor, do you see yourself as donor only, separate
from any friendship there may or may not be with the recipient? Yes or No.
Recipient, do you see yourself as recipient only,
separate from any friendship there may or may not be with the donor? Yes or No.
Both Donor and Recipient, do you pledge to uphold these intents and to respect and honour the intentions and to respect each other as separate human beings in this undertaking? Yes or No.
If the vows are made correctly, then as far as any of the parties are concerned, the baby is conceived artificially in that sense,
that the baby has not been conceived by way of a loving partnership/de
facto/wedlock between the donor and recipient, despite having been
conceived/begotten by means of any of the donor/recipient begetting methods,
these being; NI, AI, SAI, or PI., and so to all intents and purposes, the
conception/begetting has been purely artificial.
With ‘artificial’ the meaning is determined by ‘intent’, the intent being a donor arrangement only, no natural man-to-woman relationship bonding on a partnership/de facto/marital level in the whole process has taken place. Partnership/de facto/marital intent is a ‘spiritual’ matter between two parties and recognized by society, however, there is no recognition in this case of any such relationship as no ‘spiritual’ bonding has taken place with bonding vows or agreements either by words or lifestyle, and the conception is therefore an artificial act, being a biological step only. This therefore establishes the intent in this process of conception/begetting. The begetting/conception is therefore to all intents and purpose, artificially generated.
6. Law terms;
(extracts taken from Wikipedia)
De facto (English pronunciation: /diː ˈfæktoʊ/, /deɪ/, Latin pronunciation: [deː ˈfaktoː]) is a Latin expression that means "concerning fact." In law, it often means "in practice but not necessarily ordained by law" or "in practice or actuality, but not officially established." It is commonly used in contrast to de jure (which means "concerning the law") when referring to matters of law, governance, or technique (such as standards) that are found in the common experience as created or developed without or contrary to a regulation. When discussing a legal situation, de jure designates what the law says, while de facto designates action of what happens in practice. It is analogous and similar to the expressions "for all intents and purposes" or "in fact"
7. Is the Recipient’s Orgasm Important in the process?
(extracts taken from Wikipedia)
Women's orgasms have been estimated to last, on average, approximately 20
seconds, and to consist of a series of muscular contractions in the pelvic area
that includes the vagina, the uterus, and the anus. For some women, on some
occasions, these contractions begin soon after the woman reports that the
orgasm has started and continue at intervals of about one second with initially
increasing, and then reducing, intensity. In some instances, the series of
regular contractions is followed by a few additional contractions or shudders
at irregular intervals. In other cases, the woman reports having an orgasm, but
no pelvic contractions are measured at all.
Women's orgasms are preceded by erection of the clitoris and moistening of the opening of the vagina. Some women exhibit a sex flush, a reddening of the skin over much of the body due to increased blood flow to the skin. As a woman nears orgasm, the clitoral glands moves inward under the clitoral hood, and the labia minora (inner lips) become darker. As orgasm becomes imminent, the outer third of the vagina tightens and narrows, while overall the vagina lengthens and dilates and also becomes congested from engorged soft tissue. Elsewhere in the body, myofibroblasts of the nipple-areolar complex contract, causing erection of the nipples and contraction of the areolar diameter, reaching their maximum at the start of orgasm. The uterus then experiences a series of between 3 and 15 muscular contractions.. A woman experiences full orgasm when her uterus, vagina, anus, and pelvic muscles undergo a series of rhythmic contractions. Most women find these contractions very pleasurable.
Researchers from the University Medical Center of Groningen in the Netherlands correlated the sensation of orgasm with muscular contractions occurring at a frequency of 8–13 Hz centered in the pelvis and measured in the anus. They argue that the presence of this particular frequency of contractions can distinguish between voluntary contraction of these muscles and spontaneous involuntary contractions, and appears to more accurately correlate with orgasm as opposed to other metrics like heart rate that only measure excitation. They assert that they have identified "[t]he first objective and quantitative measure that has a strong correspondence with the subjective experience that orgasm ultimately is" and state that the measure of contractions that occur at a frequency of 8–13 Hz is specific to orgasm. They found that using this metric they could distinguish from rest, voluntary muscular contractions, and even unsuccessful orgasm attempts.
A 1994 Learning Channel documentary on sex had fibre optic cameras inside the vagina of a woman while she had sexual intercourse. During her orgasm, her pelvic muscles contracted and her cervix repeatedly dipped into a pool of semen in the vaginal fornix, as if to ensure that sperm would proceed by the external orifice of the uterus, making conception more likely.
Trusted Sites to Find Donors
Once you made up your mind and you have opted to find a free sperm donor then I would like to share the details of the two sites that I have used.
8. Handy Free Donor Sites...These sites are;
9. Other tip and donor contact;
I have used a reliable donor in Tasmania (Australia) and he is happy to email with anyone who wants to know more. His service was good, that is to say, we talked things through, agreed which method and he was always ready to make sure that I recieved the service when I was ready. Also, he is friendly and thoughtful, but not seeking more than what I want. I have a very lovely boy who is so cute, but so very smart and talented, he fills my life with joy.
My donor is happy for me to share his email with you...
Best of luck.